Daily VapoFi

via Daily Prompt: Delivery

Delivery Systems.

Once upon a time it would have been impossible to imagine an ambling ramble through the woods without my favorite nicotine delivery system. That was back when it was simple paper tubes stuffed with leaves, often with a fiber filter used as a false sense of safety feature on this system. But inhaling smoke from burning leaves is what it is. Now the price and complexity of nicotine delivery systems has escalated to truly systemic proportions. But my monkey, lizard, and concept to be identified later brain speaks as one with a resounding “No thank you.”

So I take my peaceful easy feeling delivery system of shimmering prurient phantasms from people and places that always have been, will be, and still are in their given moment; no matter what subterfuge my perception delivers to them.

Meanwhile, smoke em if ya got em and deliver us from systemic temptations. 

Now will someone please show me the diagram for this delivery system.

 

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/delivery/

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Daily Blast

Bury, burn or blast off. Thinking back to our earliest days I have to wonder which came first. Some hominid tripping over the bones of the dead said we have to do something about this. Hmmm. Should we dig a hole and bury it or should we have a bonfire (really a bone fire) and make ashes of our ancestors.

Conditions at the time dictated and facilitated the choice.

Fast forward many years to when technology gave us another option. Lets just shoot our earthly remains into space. After all there is a lot of space up there in space. We are just the species to fill it. After all who wants to have their leavings hanging around in perpetuity in the…

 

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/bury/

Quickened Sickened

via Daily Prompt: Quicken

Back in the days of irrational exuberance and before all your Spondulix was online and downloadable; Intuit came along with a little ditty called Quicken. Since we were young and the internets were dumb much of the accounts, spending, and bills required data entry rather than syncing with obtuse and arcane file formats from various financial institutions. Cash transactions required a receipt.

Oh Boy!

But since the household was hemorrhaging money, as all good job creating consumer households should, it was necessary to spend Saturday mornings trying to balance and track what was going where and why. It became clear that the only thing quick about this process was how it quickened the ex out the door weekend mornings due to the inevitable discovery of numerous and unmentioned charges that would miraculously appear on the snail mailed paper statements.

Recriminations and many a ruined weekend followed.

At the time the only thing Quicken quickened was a trip to divorce court and understanding of the quick bunny trail to financial ruin.

Now that everyone across the globe can pick your pocket with nary a reach around or how do you do, Quicken has fulfilled the catchy name’s promise.

But the question still remains. “Do you have a receipt for that?”

quicken-logo

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/quicken/

 

 

 

Things I Don’t Know

Squat

Things I do know:

I know I remember getting an annual physical where the provider would listen to my heart, look down my throat, in my ears, and in my eyes. Instead I get the back of a head looking at a list of things on a computer that have been prescribed for me to swallow; with out ever listening to my heart, looking down my throat, in my ears, and in my eyes by their predecessor a year ago who has now moved on to greener pastures

This all after a gruff and unceremonious greeting of, “Why are you here.”

No concern for what concerns me but a strange obsession about one thing that has to do with:

Squat

That being, why haven’t I gone and gotten a camera up my keyster as the predecessor had referred me to do.

I know. I know. Research shows that research is right about doing this at a certain age. Never mind there are not now, nor ever been any issues for me while taking a:

Squat

But as a layman I am comfortable in the knowledge that on the whole most of us know:

Diddly-Squat

While those that are sure that they know all there is to know about a thing with out listening to the heart, looking down the throat, in the ears, and in the eyes truly do know:

Squat

 

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/squat/

via Daily Prompt: Squat

Tis The Season to be Folly

Folly is such a fun word. I mean who doesn’t enjoy a spirited game of Folly Ball. Looking forward to having a Folly Folly Christmas this year with Folly Ole St Nick.

St. Nick uses reindeer power as opposed to Fulton’s Folly which ushered in the age of our Fossil Fuel Folly of believing there is an infinite supply of things to burn on our decidedly and well mapped finite planet. What’s done is done but we are only follying ourselves thinking otherwise.

Of course McCain’s Folly (a.k.a. matriarch of the one time first family of Seward’s Folly) does not believe in such things, nor other things from her progeny’s prodigious folly of taking “Cheaper By The Dozen” as a guide to Folly Planning.

So in life one mans folly is another mans floor, and where there is folly there is money to be made. It is no folly to think that someone is making folding folly somewhere off of our Founding Fathers Folly’s and Foibles. The ofttimes suspected , never directly addressed Electoral Folly.

In closing allow me to digress to youthful budding folly becoming full bloom folly. As a young man at the office Folliday Party I learned of a particular moral weakness I have. Blow in my ear and I’ll folly you anywhere. She did, I did, and Holiday Folliness Abounded. Apparently I am not alone in my countrymen and women in my susceptibility to melting into a puddle of folly after getting my ear blown.

So as we Deck the halls with boughs of Folly lets all sing together….

Folly Lolly Loll lol la la la.

christmasbeer12

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/folly/

Mythicalville

Once upon a time there was Ward and June.

b_cleavparents01

Lucy and Ricky.

i-love-lucy-lucy-and-ricky

The alternative living situation of Andy and Aunt Bea.

auntbee2

All was well in the world. A fare for all and no fair for anyone.

You knew it wasn’t real because at best it came to you on a twelve inch black and white screen.  But you let it into your brain by looking at it. You were plugged in. You were in training for reality as brought to you by…

You already had been infected by the pink eye of reading and the earwig of radio. But now you were awash in other peoples alleged “realities” from across the country.

Nowwheresville.

NewYorkville.

Mayberryville.

So where and when were these Mythicalvilles?

Neversville.

These realities were presented to sell you things safely quarantined on your twelve inch cathode ray tube. But you were young and much better at believing than seeing.

Then Came Reality TV

Welcome to Realityville

It’s All Around You

Step right up!

 

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/mythical/