Quickened Sickened

via Daily Prompt: Quicken

Back in the days of irrational exuberance and before all your Spondulix was online and downloadable; Intuit came along with a little ditty called Quicken. Since we were young and the internets were dumb much of the accounts, spending, and bills required data entry rather than syncing with obtuse and arcane file formats from various financial institutions. Cash transactions required a receipt.

Oh Boy!

But since the household was hemorrhaging money, as all good job creating consumer households should, it was necessary to spend Saturday mornings trying to balance and track what was going where and why. It became clear that the only thing quick about this process was how it quickened the ex out the door weekend mornings due to the inevitable discovery of numerous and unmentioned charges that would miraculously appear on the snail mailed paper statements.

Recriminations and many a ruined weekend followed.

At the time the only thing Quicken quickened was a trip to divorce court and understanding of the quick bunny trail to financial ruin.

Now that everyone across the globe can pick your pocket with nary a reach around or how do you do, Quicken has fulfilled the catchy name’s promise.

But the question still remains. “Do you have a receipt for that?”

quicken-logo

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/quicken/

 

 

 

Things I Don’t Know

Squat

Things I do know:

I know I remember getting an annual physical where the provider would listen to my heart, look down my throat, in my ears, and in my eyes. Instead I get the back of a head looking at a list of things on a computer that have been prescribed for me to swallow; with out ever listening to my heart, looking down my throat, in my ears, and in my eyes by their predecessor a year ago who has now moved on to greener pastures

This all after a gruff and unceremonious greeting of, “Why are you here.”

No concern for what concerns me but a strange obsession about one thing that has to do with:

Squat

That being, why haven’t I gone and gotten a camera up my keyster as the predecessor had referred me to do.

I know. I know. Research shows that research is right about doing this at a certain age. Never mind there are not now, nor ever been any issues for me while taking a:

Squat

But as a layman I am comfortable in the knowledge that on the whole most of us know:

Diddly-Squat

While those that are sure that they know all there is to know about a thing with out listening to the heart, looking down the throat, in the ears, and in the eyes truly do know:

Squat

 

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/squat/

via Daily Prompt: Squat

Tis The Season to be Folly

Folly is such a fun word. I mean who doesn’t enjoy a spirited game of Folly Ball. Looking forward to having a Folly Folly Christmas this year with Folly Ole St Nick.

St. Nick uses reindeer power as opposed to Fulton’s Folly which ushered in the age of our Fossil Fuel Folly of believing there is an infinite supply of things to burn on our decidedly and well mapped finite planet. What’s done is done but we are only follying ourselves thinking otherwise.

Of course McCain’s Folly (a.k.a. matriarch of the one time first family of Seward’s Folly) does not believe in such things, nor other things from her progeny’s prodigious folly of taking “Cheaper By The Dozen” as a guide to Folly Planning.

So in life one mans folly is another mans floor, and where there is folly there is money to be made. It is no folly to think that someone is making folding folly somewhere off of our Founding Fathers Folly’s and Foibles. The ofttimes suspected , never directly addressed Electoral Folly.

In closing allow me to digress to youthful budding folly becoming full bloom folly. As a young man at the office Folliday Party I learned of a particular moral weakness I have. Blow in my ear and I’ll folly you anywhere. She did, I did, and Holiday Folliness Abounded. Apparently I am not alone in my countrymen and women in my susceptibility to melting into a puddle of folly after getting my ear blown.

So as we Deck the halls with boughs of Folly lets all sing together….

Folly Lolly Loll lol la la la.

christmasbeer12

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/folly/

Mythicalville

Once upon a time there was Ward and June.

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Lucy and Ricky.

i-love-lucy-lucy-and-ricky

The alternative living situation of Andy and Aunt Bea.

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All was well in the world. A fare for all and no fair for anyone.

You knew it wasn’t real because at best it came to you on a twelve inch black and white screen.  But you let it into your brain by looking at it. You were plugged in. You were in training for reality as brought to you by…

You already had been infected by the pink eye of reading and the earwig of radio. But now you were awash in other peoples alleged “realities” from across the country.

Nowwheresville.

NewYorkville.

Mayberryville.

So where and when were these Mythicalvilles?

Neversville.

These realities were presented to sell you things safely quarantined on your twelve inch cathode ray tube. But you were young and much better at believing than seeing.

Then Came Reality TV

Welcome to Realityville

It’s All Around You

Step right up!

 

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/mythical/

Of This I’m Sure

The only thing I rearrange more than my furniture is the priority order on my task list. I mean, why complete the task when I can just rearrange when I will actually do something.

It’s like time travel only in a very linear one directional and one dimensional kind of way.

That’s all I have to say about that.

Carry on.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/rearrange/

C.U.S.

YOU better BUY this NOW or YOU are DOOOOOOOOOOMED!!!!!!!

I am not a big fan of horsey headlines, but this is the message interwoven in every distraction delivery system I consume.

This seems to be the message in many political campaigns of the day as well.

Believe me.

Or else.

Back in the day I would look at the television.

But now I watch it.

I think my television, cable, satellite, and internet providers are watching me.

Time to go now because I just saw a pharmaceutical advertisement for a pharmaceutical that will alleviate my C.U.S. (Chronic Urgency Syndrome)

Sure hope I can swallow it in time.

So ends another chapter in the Daily Sojourn known as:

The Quest For Urgency

 

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/urgent/

P.S. Good thing the promise of a television commercial free pay cable and / or satellite and / or internet television diversion delivery system was another hoax perpetrated on the consumer or I never would have found this pharmaceutical rabbit hole to send more dollars down.

Cheese and Meat

Number one son was an aficionado of the Original.

Woe be unto him who tried to foist any New items on him. Perish the thought of Improved items as well. Same for Deluxe.  Limited begone. Nope. He wanted the Original.

He was the purist goalie in the family. Try to get anything past him that was not what he considered original, from BBQ sauce to Kraft Italian salad dressing, and the howls could be heard to the Original high heavens.

Anything other than cheese and meat on a burger was grounds to ban that McDonald’s from his Original list. With an added Original pox upon the hapless server who served it up in such an Unoriginal fashion to him.

He was indeed the embodiment of the Original Sin.

He was a terrible consumer in training and the nightmare of all fiduciaries of our growth fetishistic enterprises and nation.

But after years in front of the television soaking in commercials, online Ad culture, and peer pressure he came around as all good potential productivity pods do. Now number one son wants everything new and improved in the world you can possibly imagine.

But since he is one of the Original Millennials he may be too late since the Original promise of trickle down has already been lapped up, swallowed , and sent elsewhere.

Maybe someone has an Original idea to solve this.

I haven’t heard it.

I have observed a lot of very Unoriginal silliness in between the TV commercials, Ad Banners, and pop up ads however.

So I hope he still only wants cheese and meat on his burger.

After all , it’s the Original.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/original/