Chuckle’s Circus Is On The Air

via Daily Prompt: Chuckle

Chuckles was a bit of a newcomer to this particular circus, though many can reasonably argue his life has always been a joke. Albeit a rich joke. He was a clown.

He joined a well seasoned Grins. More of a comedian than a clown. His grin perhaps bespoke of amusement,  but in reality was more of a sardonic mocking rictus.  This became apparent once the plans and punitive machinations his odious thoughts were conjuring came to light. Everyone was going to pay for not giving him his due sooner.

Guffaws was a different beastie all together.  Having been at this circus game longer than any of the others. He had developed an emotional shell into which he would withdraw at the first sign of trouble. Lugging this shell with him as the Ringmaster of this dysfunctional circus had taught him to run the show at a tortoise pace and excel at getting nothing done while bringing nary an attraction to this three ringed circus.

It had been so long between acts that the audience took their leave and were demanding the price of admission back. Leaving only the black robed ticket punchers to deny the validity of the public clamor. The three performers now opined that the townspeople, which surrounded and outnumbered them, no longer even wanted to see their show.

But the show must go on.

So Chuckles, Grins, and Guffaws worked late into the night to hatch a plan. Together they made enough noise to keep the wolves awake. Packs of  these voracious hungry predators descended on the townsfolk and ate them all up solving the three circus performers problems and making all their dreams all come true. Thus leaving Chuckles, Grins, and Guffaws to do what they do best.

Nothing.

Except for Chuckles who  blathered endlessly about his circus being The Greatest Show On Earth.

Step Right Up.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/chuckle/

Quickened Sickened

via Daily Prompt: Quicken

Back in the days of irrational exuberance and before all your Spondulix was online and downloadable; Intuit came along with a little ditty called Quicken. Since we were young and the internets were dumb much of the accounts, spending, and bills required data entry rather than syncing with obtuse and arcane file formats from various financial institutions. Cash transactions required a receipt.

Oh Boy!

But since the household was hemorrhaging money, as all good job creating consumer households should, it was necessary to spend Saturday mornings trying to balance and track what was going where and why. It became clear that the only thing quick about this process was how it quickened the ex out the door weekend mornings due to the inevitable discovery of numerous and unmentioned charges that would miraculously appear on the snail mailed paper statements.

Recriminations and many a ruined weekend followed.

At the time the only thing Quicken quickened was a trip to divorce court and understanding of the quick bunny trail to financial ruin.

Now that everyone across the globe can pick your pocket with nary a reach around or how do you do, Quicken has fulfilled the catchy name’s promise.

But the question still remains. “Do you have a receipt for that?”

quicken-logo

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/quicken/

 

 

 

Huid

via Daily Prompt: Hideout

My hide is always out.

Thank you very much.

It would be quite messy if it wasn’t.

My hide keeps everything in place. I prefer to keep my innards in, and my outards out.

I just watched “The Revenant” and I do not want anyone hanging my hide out.

 

Of course of late I’ve been feeling like I’m living in a first world economy with third world leadership mentality.

May need a hideout to holdup in for a few.

Just in case.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/hideout/

 

 

Things I Don’t Know

Squat

Things I do know:

I know I remember getting an annual physical where the provider would listen to my heart, look down my throat, in my ears, and in my eyes. Instead I get the back of a head looking at a list of things on a computer that have been prescribed for me to swallow; with out ever listening to my heart, looking down my throat, in my ears, and in my eyes by their predecessor a year ago who has now moved on to greener pastures

This all after a gruff and unceremonious greeting of, “Why are you here.”

No concern for what concerns me but a strange obsession about one thing that has to do with:

Squat

That being, why haven’t I gone and gotten a camera up my keyster as the predecessor had referred me to do.

I know. I know. Research shows that research is right about doing this at a certain age. Never mind there are not now, nor ever been any issues for me while taking a:

Squat

But as a layman I am comfortable in the knowledge that on the whole most of us know:

Diddly-Squat

While those that are sure that they know all there is to know about a thing with out listening to the heart, looking down the throat, in the ears, and in the eyes truly do know:

Squat

 

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/squat/

via Daily Prompt: Squat

Just One Should Suffice

So many expectations . Such little time.  The whole world is blustering with great expectations. Perhaps one of the most pernicious is what I expect is the same that you expect. All tidily wrapped up in that ancient pearl, “Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do unto You.”

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The seekers friend can expound ad nauseum on different cultures and different takes, but it all boils down to expectation.

One of my faves is:

  • “Never impose on others what you would not choose for yourself.” — Confucius[15](c. 500 BC)

I expect you to remember that.

I like this because it does not expect you to know and to do unto me what I want done unto me. If I want something I will ask. As my mother would so eloquently state, “I am not a mind reader.” But if I did ask for something she would quickly append that with, ” How can you ask for more than you are already getting, cause that is all you are getting and there ain’t no more. Selfish selfish child. Now go play in traffic and don’t come back until the street lights are on ( an ambiguous and inaccurate way to tell time in an urban setting at best) and not a minute later.” But she had her expectations too. The ones a child spends a lifetime learning about the hard way.

Well so much for my childhood scars. Not a path I expected to divert down in the posting.

Now to Confy. I guess since there are some wacky people out there who like to have some wacky things done to them I expect some clear communication between all participating parties with no fear of hurt feelings, reprimands, and or death sentences imposed for a mere suggestion of and communication of said wackiness. “Good luck with that.” Even if Confy didn’t say that I just did.

I close with a wise saying from the only POTUS never to be POTUS taken from his book of wise sayings:

bf019

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/expectation/

Iambic Calmity

Oh I’m calm alright

I am super deluxe special edition calm.

I’m so calm I stop for green lights.

I have no fear of being rear ended,

I am driving so calmly.

Some people honk and swear.

They need to calm down.

If they are on my bumper,

I think they just want to give me  push.

In a calm and neighborly manner of course.

After all,

I am new and improved

Organic

Fat free

Sugar free

Gluten free

Humanely raised

Free range

Zero trans fat

No artificial ingredients

Calm

We will all get where we are going.

It just may not be where we thought.

Or when we thought.

Everything is okay until it isn’t.

Something will happen.

Something different.

Until then

Stay calm

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/calm/