Well pluck the duck. What do I have to lose. I guess I will go live in the future even if it is inhabited with people that have boomer expectations in a millennial economy. Sure it’s like having bees live in your head, but there you are.
Everything I know I learned from Firesign Theater.
While I cover myself with a veneer of serene calm bemusement it is just an illusion.
Inside I am so darn happy I am just about to pee all over myself.
Along time ago in a far away reality a random access editing tool was born out of the fear and squalor of linear methods of stacking picture and sound bits in a fungible predestined order. A system built on Apple’s upstart architecture was foisted upon a world of trim bins, dirty dupes, and countless open re-edits of arcane EDL list management disciples. The decidedly nonlinear AVID Media Composer was born into a world full of nattering nabobs of negativity.
But Another Version Instead of Deciding seized the day.
The hangover left by such flexibility and indecision led to my internal dissonance which threw my normal Harmony out of phase causing me to Spike the last two Daily Prompts of this week and leave that Media to Decompose itself.
Chuckles was a bit of a newcomer to this particular circus, though many can reasonably argue his life has always been a joke. Albeit a rich joke. He was a clown.
He joined a well seasoned Grins. More of a comedian than a clown. His grin perhaps bespoke of amusement, but in reality was more of a sardonic mocking rictus. This became apparent once the plans and punitive machinations his odious thoughts were conjuring came to light. Everyone was going to pay for not giving him his due sooner.
Guffaws was a different beastie all together. Having been at this circus game longer than any of the others. He had developed an emotional shell into which he would withdraw at the first sign of trouble. Lugging this shell with him as the Ringmaster of this dysfunctional circus had taught him to run the show at a tortoise pace and excel at getting nothing done while bringing nary an attraction to this three ringed circus.
It had been so long between acts that the audience took their leave and were demanding the price of admission back. Leaving only the black robed ticket punchers to deny the validity of the public clamor. The three performers now opined that the townspeople, which surrounded and outnumbered them, no longer even wanted to see their show.
But the show must go on.
So Chuckles, Grins, and Guffaws worked late into the night to hatch a plan. Together they made enough noise to keep the wolves awake. Packs of these voracious hungry predators descended on the townsfolk and ate them all up solving the three circus performers problems and making all their dreams all come true. Thus leaving Chuckles, Grins, and Guffaws to do what they do best.
Except for Chuckles who blathered endlessly about his circus being The Greatest Show On Earth.
Step Right Up.
Back in the days of irrational exuberance and before all your Spondulix was online and downloadable; Intuit came along with a little ditty called Quicken. Since we were young and the internets were dumb much of the accounts, spending, and bills required data entry rather than syncing with obtuse and arcane file formats from various financial institutions. Cash transactions required a receipt.
But since the household was hemorrhaging money, as all good job creating consumer households should, it was necessary to spend Saturday mornings trying to balance and track what was going where and why. It became clear that the only thing quick about this process was how it quickened the ex out the door weekend mornings due to the inevitable discovery of numerous and unmentioned charges that would miraculously appear on the snail mailed paper statements.
Recriminations and many a ruined weekend followed.
At the time the only thing Quicken quickened was a trip to divorce court and understanding of the quick bunny trail to financial ruin.
Now that everyone across the globe can pick your pocket with nary a reach around or how do you do, Quicken has fulfilled the catchy name’s promise.
But the question still remains. “Do you have a receipt for that?”