In the constant quest of being uber contrary, I would take that golden key and first make sure it was really gold and not pyrite. I would not bite it since who knows where it has been. But once convinced I had the goldie gold key instead of opening something and unleashing who knows what on the universe, I would lock something away in a magical blue box that is bigger on the inside.
You know Who.
I would lock away all of humanities fears.
Now good ol’ Ziggy Zig Ziglar would say that fear stands for False Evidence Appearing Real.
But he was wrong about that as was his penchant.
It really stands for False Expectations Appearing Real, a subtle but substantial difference.
After all Ziggy Zig Zag was shilling expectations. Mostly that he expected you to buy his books, tapes, and attend his seminars.
Self interest will be with us always.
But by removing fear as a common motivator for many our actions we might survive into a glorious and distant future so that you know Who could visit us along that new fearless timeline.
I would tell you where to send me your thank you notes but all that attention would just creep me out.