Sir Mark Sykes

Dear Mr. Sykes,

Yes you read that right.

Mister.

We Americans will have no truck with that royal. B.S. Sure some sycophants still swoon over your royals, but most of us see them as the inbred bunch of ninnys they really are. I would also CC. your French buddy Georges-Picot but I don’t parlez vous his lingo.

Now I know y’all want to maintain your colonies and have your way with those various peoples over there. Especially since the brighter bulbs in your cabinets see how we are going to be burning oil like poop through a goose the next century You want to maintain your “spheres of influence” in perpetuity. Funny. We have a feller here name of Dick Cheney who has been making money hand over fist while telling us we need to maintain our “spheres of influence” in perpetuity. This is a hundred years later.

But step away from the maps. Those lines you are drawing will cause much blood to be spilled in that region. Whether at the hands of dictators we put there, or at the hands of the peoples in the area, or at our hands when we try to over throw those dictators we put in power.  Your map only makes a bigger mess of things.

So see what those fellers T.E. Lawrence was running with want for the future of their region. That’s right. Their region. Cause the Empires you are preserving will only last another forty years at best. You will leave a mess for everybody.

It may still be messy if you don’t divide up the spoils, but they will not have you two foreigners to blame.

Hope this letter gets to you in time.

Sincerely,

Pete

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